Stage 4: Enough of this. I take my power back. I deserve so much more than this.
This is the turning point where we start to realise that only we can change. We are almost always working with a practitioner or coach at this stage, but we need them to reflect back to us what is going on, and to support us in our journey of growth or healing. But as we say “enough of this” it’s like a statement of “I am worth it, I’m doing this because I know I need to change, I need to be responsible for my body, my life, my world” and you start to believe that you can do it. You can make the changes you need to make to be the person you are capable of being.
I have found that men often find it easier than women to claim their power. My personal view is that the stages were designed by a man, so they had a male flavour to them. When I teach Stage 4 I teach it as taught by Donny Epstein, but also from my experience. I find the female experience of personal power is different to the male experience, and have heard the same from many client. It’s good to ask - what does reclaiming your power mean to you.
Stage 5: I accept and embrace my power. I can see the rules that have driven me, that have shaped my life and I am starting to see how and where I have given my power away or taken power from others.
In Stage 5, I recognise that power is about me being true to myself, not holding power over others or circumstances. I see that my beliefs around personal power or responsibility came from outside of me and it’s time to merge with the parts of me that have used/misused power. So many of us are limited in how we express personal power by our parents, by society, by beliefs we have picked up over the years. Stage 5 can be about merging with the parts of us that were scared and had to stay small, and also the parts of us that want to control and have power over others.
Stage 6: I’m so ready, I’m just done with not being in my power, I have so much energy and drive to resolve this, I’m bursting with the energy for resolution and change. I’m so ready to fully step into my authentic nature.
We come to the point where resolution is almost inevitable. But to fully resolve we just check in for any more resources, parts of us that need to be cleaned up, parts that can be utilised to clear the patterns that no longer serve. There is an overwhelming sense of readiness and this is the last preparation to really build the energy up to make the shift we know we are going to make
Stage 7: I recognise how everything up to now has serve me. I’m ready to resolve/I am resolving. I’m letting go of that which no longer serves me. I’m coming into my authentic nature. I am me.