Posture 3: Who am I?


This is all about the roles we play in life. We have many role - daughter, son, wife, husband, teacher, lover, sister, brother. We have professional roles, some of us identify with what we do - I’m a Doctor, I’m an Engineer, I’m a Scientist and so many more.

The thing is, often we play out the roles we were expected to. We behave like the good child and go to university, even though we really wanted to go to Art School. Or we follow our families wishes and become a Doctor, when we really don’t like people very much and would have preferred to be an academic. Or we marry young because it’s expected, or have children because it’s expected of us. We never stop and think - who am I? What do I really want? Instead we do what our conditioning says we should. Some people get lucky, turns out that they are carry out roles that are totally authentic for them. But when people feel trapped in a version of them that is not authentic, and this version doesn’t chime with who they are, it can be distressing on many levels - physically it often shows up as back pain. But there are many levels of pain, and this can be physical, emotional, mental or even spiritual.

Common signs of someone who is showing this posture type are that they may be the job hoppers, who change careers every few years. Or the people who attend course after course, getting more and more educated yet never really using any of it.

Or they may be very easily swayed. They never really know what they want and so will jump on every bandwagon that comes along. They lack the ability to say no, and often say yes through fear of missing out. Their will power to carry anything through can be lacking and decision making around what serves them can be a big challenge.

Questions they may ask or statements they may say or think include:

  1. Who am I?

  2. What is my purpose?

  3. What job / career would be best for me?

  4. Do I want to be a parent? Have kids?

  5. Why is everyone else settling down and getting married?

  6. I just don’t seem to have a purpose. What’s wrong with me?

  7. I don’t know what I want from life

  8. I don’t know

  9. I’m grateful for whatever life gives me, as long as I don’t have to make a decision

What is the flip side of this? This is when someone is totally congruent with who they are, the choices they have made, the decisions they make and how they lead their life. They may be a teacher and it lights them up. They know they are doing something that is totally authentic for them. And they are doing it well because it comes naturally, even if they had to study and learn, they still know in their soul that this is who they are and why they are here.

If you recognize this pattern as being strong in you, take a moment and stand, ideally without shoes. Where is the natural balance on your feet? Do you favour one leg over the other? Do you constantly stand on one leg, even if you are balanced in this moment? If you are out of balance, try to bring your feet into balance so that you have even pressure on both feet. What happens in your body when you do this?

Some people will find this easy to do. Great. If you don’t, that’s also great because now you know that your body awareness could probably do with some work. Don’t worry, lots of people start here, and it’s amazing what you can notice when you start to practice.

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