Being Afraid and Doing It Anyway – Stage 5

Everyone has perceived limitations. Come on. We’re all human. There are things that we are afraid of. Things we just won’t do or even attempt to do. We have points that we will not move beyond. These self-imposed limitations do give us a sense of safety and they have let us grow to a certain point, but they are also like a wall that we bump up against. We know there is more to us on the other side, yet we are afraid to move beyond to see what’s there.

Everyone also reaches certain points, or moments in life, when we feel that it’s time for a change and we have the courage to grow. We feel whole enough to move beyond the limitation, even though it scares the crap out of us. We decide that even though we are afraid, we are going to do it anyway. And we go on a bit of a scary ride! We take a leap of faith, not knowing where we’ll land or even whether it will be on anything solid. We’re free falling, terrified and maybe even a little exhilarated. And all the while, something is happening within us.

After we realize that we are not dead, we see that we are on the other side. Our fear or limitation was just an illusion that we believed was real enough to fashion our life around. Before our leap of faith, part of ourselves had been suppressed, wounded or dissociated from the rest of us and we were afraid to visit it. We pretended it was not there because acknowledging it reminded us of our fear. It was like a shadow part of us that we wanted to keep hidden.

This act of courage we just took is a major step in connecting to and enhancing our wholeness. We are actually moving beyond the illusion that kept us separate from the wounded part of our “self” and merging with that shadow part to become more whole. It is a really big step in our healing and it must happen at the right time. If we are not strong and willing enough, we will not have the courage to make it happen and the process will stop.

This step – Merging with the Illusion – is Stage 5 of the “12 Stages of Healing”. These twelve stages unfold sequentially by building on and including the awareness and growth achieved by experiencing the previous stages. To reach Stage 5, we must be complete with Stages 1, 2 and 3 in the Season of Discover. This means we have learned what our role has been in the life we’ve been living. We’ve accepted responsibility for our lives and realized that the recurring patterns that kept us stuck in a rut were nobody else’s fault.

We have moved into the early stages of the Season of Transform, which includes Stages 4 to 7, and have decided that if we want our life to change, then we had better take some action to do it. In Stage 4, we had enough of our low standards and decided to raise the bar. We re-claimed our power and gained the courage to expect our lives to play out in a bigger game. We realized that we deserve so much more than we have been accepting from ourselves. As part of this realization, we now see that we can, indeed we must, revisit the wounded part our “self” with this new level of courage and dedication to our wholeness. This realization/new awareness makes it possible for the merging of Stage 5 to happen.

So we come up against our illusion and we wonder, “What’s really going on here? What else is happening? What’s on the other side?” And because we have the courage and wholeness to do so, we take the leap and find ourselves kicking and screaming all the way to the other side. We could not even have imagined it until we took the step in fear, but we do it anyway and then the rest takes over. We merge with the wounded part of us and subsequently, life gets bigger.

Original article Paul Newton, based on the work of Donald Epstein

Rachael Talbot & Olaf Frank
Re-organisational Healing, Wellness & Chiropractic, Wilmslow UK